JUST DO PORN ALREADY

Don't get me wrong I'm all for Heidi Montag doing Playboy. Her bod is awesome, except for that her head's attached to it. Look at her retarded logic: She gives it away for free all the time, pointing her junk at pap cameras in poses that suggest her own private porno with an invisible dude. But now she wants to remove that last strip of fabric between herself and bald desperation (sorry) and expects a half-million dollar payday? She's asking for a raise of 500,000% if I'm doing my math right. Be reasonable, Spencer, you tragic nobody. Tell ya what penisface, I'll do $100 for a pic of her with my name suntanned onto her knocks. how's that. I'll throw in $20 to punch your front teeth out. 

SONSABITCHES!

Tonight for dinner, I treated myself to some delicious pasta with spicy cod roe. Really minimal, but a flavor explosion. Just try not to acknowledge that your teeth are smashing thousands of little fish babies. It's a genocide. It's like the hugest abortion. On pasta. Yum!

Another thing I was thinking about while working out to Extreme (above) was that with the 76ers' loss against Boston on Tuesday, the Bulls have slithered into the 6 spot! It said in the paper that those chumpknobs are over .500 at 41-40! Ag! Oh and get this Macy's is having a menswear sale, but sigh I already overspent on bath towels and a blender. In other news, some emo dicklesses and Disturbed-apologists don't like hazy, incoherent writing like my recap of the Revolver thing at MetalSucks.  Who wants a smoothie??