ANOTHER REALM

Speaking of Wisconsin metal, how about that Lazarus A.D. in this new and very Metal video for The Onslaught's "Revolution", featuring footage from umm that looks like Summerfest. As it happens, a super Realm bootleg I've heard is from Summerfest though 15 years earlier; it's on an old TDK tape but you can still hear ripping then-new songs "Final Argument of Kings" and "The Other Side of Me" plus their King Crimson number "One More Red Nightmare" and the conveniently forgotten "Partnerz 'N Crime." Ok in all fairness, that spelling is unconfirmed but there's no question that prog-thrashers Realm did write and perform a jokey rap song a la "I'm The Man," with pro-safe sex messages and crap. Otherwise, they're awesome and Lazer Ass A.D. is too so one wonders if these studs aren't transplants to the area. See, I know a guy who's paternal grandmother is one-quarter Wisconsinish and that dude can't even spell the word guitar let alone play one.

REALM-UNION OR BUST

Besides the usual hay fever, another allergy I suffer from is an extreme sensitivity to crusading writers and their pet bands. Maybe it's the tone of exasperation, or the smugness that accompanies a real find. Worse is that nowadays, under-exposed bands are everywhere and likewise rabid band patrons number beyond actual journos to include empowered comment jockeys; Metal Sucks even turned over one Friday's operations to such a breathless, put-upon zealot.

Now on the other hand, this endorsement of an underloved band like Realm is justified, cuz few people are unlucky enough to live in Milwaukee (home to the band and most of its fans), their awesomeness levels roughly equal those of Atheist and Queensryche (seriously), and goddammit I'm trying to get a reunion tour going here (not getting any younger y'all). Turn it up and join the movement. No not that kind.

HEY ANACRUSIS IS BACK! UH HELLO? ANYBODY?

The very existence of magazine for young men with tin ears Blender would be unknown to me, except that somehow, the pointless fluffrag seems to follow me. My last few employers subscribed to it; when I crash at a friend's, an issue is found staring at me from the toilet tank; I even stumbled over a burst carton of them in the aisle of a bookstore once. But those days are over, as New York Times reports:

Blender, a music and entertainment magazine, will cease publication with its April issue, but will continue to publish on its Web site, blender.com, its owner, the Alpha Media Group, announced on Thursday.

“We went as far as we could in a difficult environment,” said an Alpha Media spokeswoman, Nora Haynes.

About 30 people will leave the company as a result of the magazine’s closing, she said.

I guess will leave the company is how Haynes pronounces will get kicked the fuck out of their offices but anyway it's kinda funny that Blender thought it could survive by offering internet-similar content in a website-esque design alternated with pictures of non-nude women for the not-free cost of $5 only 20 short days later than the actual internet. Maybe blender.com could rebound with a service that takes my emails, prints them to a letter-sized paper, and then contracts an organization to hand-deliver them to my desired recipients in 5-7 days. 

Seriously, they had 30 people on staff for that? At least the really hip decision-makers responsible for Blender's content and look will be reassigned to lucrative positions at sister publication Maxim. Anyway, the gaping hole in my life left by Blender will be filled by the mini-reunion of underloved prog-Thrash quartet Anacrusis (1993's awesome, very Killing Joke-ish "Sound The Alarm" above), who are confirmed for Keep It True XIII in Chermany, much to the delight of me and 12 guys on Blabbermouth. Alright Realm, you fuckers are next. Let's get something GOING!.