DOES D.R.I. HAVE A PUBLICIST OR NOT

Look man I'm not here to shit on innocent working folks, and the D.R.I. news is certainly bonertastic, put come on, dude! From a press release whose quality causes tears of bitter frustration:

Pioneering hardcore/metal crossover quartet D.R.I. is currently scheduling rehearsals and gearing up to play shows again starting in the fall.

For 27 years, D.R.I. has been the epitome of the aggressive, hardcore-punk thrash sound. Still actively touring and recording, the band's only change is that they're a little older now, but time hasn't gotten the best of Dirty Rotten Imbeciles. They're still thrashing just as hard -- and just as loudly -- as ever, continuing to overload our senses with the sound that is, and will always remain, uniquely D.R.I.

I run a classy column here so I cleaned up the cadence and grammar problems and also cut out a shitload of shit -- including the part about Spike beating cancer YES! -- but believe it this release is shit-all stupid, making no mention of unabashed D.R.I. devotees like Municipal Waste (kinda popular hello) or Dealing With It's recent induction into Decibel's Hall Of Fame (fucking A right). Decibel invites a sample of high-visibility Metal studs to weigh in on Dealing including Dave Lombardo (thinks I'm hilarious), Scott Ian (still waiting on a sorry for Golden G0ds naw just kidding but seriously apologize), Charlie Benante (hire Joey dude cmon); see just cut out the S.O.D. talk and Ian's baffling nonsense and bam work those quotes. Let's sell some tickets here goddamnit? It's D.R.I.

Some call Dealing With It a 'crossover' record; I call it evolution. It's a hardcore classic.

-- Scott "Not" Ian, Anthrax

Listening to Dealing With It today still gives me the same punk rush it did 20+ years ago.

-- Dave "Fuck No" Lombardo, Slayer

Dealing With It was -- and still is -- one of my favorite records. I wanted to be in D.R.I.

-- Charlie Benante, Anthrax

D.R.I. is as important to crossover as Metallica is to thrash. D.R.I. is an incredible, incredible band.

-- Katon W. DePena, Hirax

DIRTY ROTTEN REUNION. KINDA.

It was confusing to me that tons of half-ass skater types from my sister's grade were excruciatingly nice to a Metalhead malcontent such as myself. Alas, it didn't take too long to figure out that the boner-blinded punks believed palling around with me was a sure route to my protective sister's hoodle.

What I got out of the deal was an advance peek into punk rock and hardcore via easy access to the pimply beggars' tape collections. For a minute I thought TSOL, Subhumans, and Circle Jerks were good (WRONG), but the real treasure among the dreck was Texas' magnificent D.R.I. Their tour de force was Dealing With It, an instant crossover classic and HooM! Hall Of Fame record. As thankful as I am for discovering Dealing, I really wish my sister had kept better company, like say with the cadre of cuddly heshers perenially at the fringe of my young life. Those guys rocked and it's certain that I would've weaseled a ride to that Megadeth show, instead of lousy Agnostic Front. Damn.

It may have been for the best since these days I'd give a nut to see D.R.I. play and two nuts to be spared Megadeth in concert. So ya never know. A few dozen lucky dudes kept both nuts and saw a teeny bit of D.R.I. on Saturday night, when bands led by vocalist Kurt Brecht (genius) and drummer Felix (awesome) shared a bill at Room 710 in Austin. The two D.R.I.ers must be pushing for a Nobel Peace Prize cuz they treated us all to classic "I Don't Need Society" (below).