DOES D.R.I. HAVE A PUBLICIST OR NOT

Look man I'm not here to shit on innocent working folks, and the D.R.I. news is certainly bonertastic, put come on, dude! From a press release whose quality causes tears of bitter frustration:

Pioneering hardcore/metal crossover quartet D.R.I. is currently scheduling rehearsals and gearing up to play shows again starting in the fall.

For 27 years, D.R.I. has been the epitome of the aggressive, hardcore-punk thrash sound. Still actively touring and recording, the band's only change is that they're a little older now, but time hasn't gotten the best of Dirty Rotten Imbeciles. They're still thrashing just as hard -- and just as loudly -- as ever, continuing to overload our senses with the sound that is, and will always remain, uniquely D.R.I.

I run a classy column here so I cleaned up the cadence and grammar problems and also cut out a shitload of shit -- including the part about Spike beating cancer YES! -- but believe it this release is shit-all stupid, making no mention of unabashed D.R.I. devotees like Municipal Waste (kinda popular hello) or Dealing With It's recent induction into Decibel's Hall Of Fame (fucking A right). Decibel invites a sample of high-visibility Metal studs to weigh in on Dealing including Dave Lombardo (thinks I'm hilarious), Scott Ian (still waiting on a sorry for Golden G0ds naw just kidding but seriously apologize), Charlie Benante (hire Joey dude cmon); see just cut out the S.O.D. talk and Ian's baffling nonsense and bam work those quotes. Let's sell some tickets here goddamnit? It's D.R.I.

Some call Dealing With It a 'crossover' record; I call it evolution. It's a hardcore classic.

-- Scott "Not" Ian, Anthrax

Listening to Dealing With It today still gives me the same punk rush it did 20+ years ago.

-- Dave "Fuck No" Lombardo, Slayer

Dealing With It was -- and still is -- one of my favorite records. I wanted to be in D.R.I.

-- Charlie Benante, Anthrax

D.R.I. is as important to crossover as Metallica is to thrash. D.R.I. is an incredible, incredible band.

-- Katon W. DePena, Hirax