THE HOOM! YEAR IN METAL 2008: THE SPINE OF GOD

5 ENSLAVED * VERTEBRAE (Nuclear Blast)

For all the talk of Pink Floyd in the Metal world this year, it's odd that most of it pertained to Nachtmystium and their terrific Black Meddle outing and rarely to Enslaved's triumphant Vertebrae. Even more vexing is that Enslaved is the latest act to have the progressive tag affixed to them, when a more accurate descriptor would be psychedelic. It's simple, really: the latter is about repetition, extension, and drone; the former opts for the fragment, the quantity, the multiple in place of the singular. 

And Vertebrae is definitely not comprised of disparate moods and movements. Beautiful vocal harmonies float hither and thither, bolstered by walls of guitars that seem to be playing 12-note chords. Vertebrae's sound is sometimes so insubstantial, it threatens to blow away like dandelion spores, even though a gravelly black metal croaks paired with menacing riffs bury the album's anchor in Black Metal. But that anchor drags as warm winds propel the good ship Enslaved through calm seas even as calamity seems to engulf its passengers. It musta been a bitch to set the track order, because each track cycles through head-nodding grooves and lush, verdant melodics, lending a Lord of the Rings/Beowulf-style sense of epic within the epic. By the time one lands on towering finale "The Watcher," the listener has a firm image of what Pink Floyd would've sounded like had they been from Norway.

WHY DIDN'T I LISTEN: MONSTER MAGNET

Like most Metal people, I spent my late teens/early 20s at awful jobs and in shitty apartments. Though I kinda was in the shit, those times were still happy cuz i'll be goddamed some righteous people went out of their way to party with me. That was a surprise for someone usually regarded by even the warmest of people as slightly more appealing than a bag of hot barf. 

Yeah anyway, it's in this context that I smilingly remember my pal Ian. We were standing around at work, idly taking turns examining the most vulgar, cringe-inducing lyrics we'd ever heard. I offered "Don't Get Mad, Get Even" from Aerosmith's Pump. Puzzled, he asked what was so dirty. I pointed to the final verse, where Steven Tyler details some back alley backdoor action in the most infantile and crass of terms:

You've been shacking up with Lucy

And when the morning comes

You meet Sally in the alley

And the junk is in the buns

What started as a series of repressed guffaws ended with Ian collapsing to one knee in hysterics. No dude, he finally managed with a hand on one hip and the other massaging his brow. "It's 'You meet Sally in the alley/With the junkies and the bums.'" Huh. I'd always wondered why Tyler stretched so far for that rhyme. Well there's my answer, fishbulb. Thanks Ian.

Anyway of the many things Ian did for me, he touted the genius of his favorite band Monster Magnet, at the time hot shit with "Space Lord" from 1998's Powertrip. Though I liked the shit, Dave Wyndorf & Co.'s genius didn't reveal itself to me til last month after some computer rudely insisted that if I so liked Torche's Meanderthal and Enslaved's Vertebrae, then I might dig MM's Dopes To Infinity. Remembering Ian, I rocked Dopes at top volume, apologized to the computer, and distractedly picked up the shards of my blown mind all goddamn week. Like with the Aerosmith lyrics, I missed the point for a fucking decade but thanks to Ian, I'm on track now. Monster Magnet rules. Now, look to your orb for the warning.

 

PRIVY TO ALL THE NEW SHIT

Between the new One Man Army & The Undead Quartet record Grim Tales (scintillating new tour video here, with cameos from cuddly tourmates Krisiun) and Brandy's post-manslaughter outing Human, we at HooM! have full plates of new shit to rock (not to mix metaphors) even without the handful of killer new songs now bringing the Metalnet to full flame. But does anybody else subconsciously avoid new songs in favor of new albums? A.) One or two news songs from a hotly-anticipated record never satisfy, though advance songs from predicted duds can surprise ya (I played the holy christing fuck out of this gem). B.) Weeks/months later, the record comes out and you've already experienced some of it, making for an uneven listen. There's no pleasing some people.

• The brilliant God Forbid's "The Rain" does not sound like Shadows Fall, like that first previewed Earthsblood track "Year of the Gun". Out Feb 24.

• Lamb Of God goes monster on this shitty-sounding/pretty-looking live clip of "Overhauled" from Wrath. Out Feb 24.

• Post-Max Sepultura is criminally underrated, as evidenced by these two grimy killers from A-LEX, their ahem concept album based on A Clockwork Orange. Out Jan 27.

• Enslaved is breaking hearts (figuratively) with their hot beards and (slightly less figuratively) last week's tour postponement, but wowsers check out their new video for "The Watcher." It's crispy and cloudy, just like the mind-mangling album from whence it comes, Vertebrae. Out now. 

Man, round-ups are boring as whaleshit. 

ENSLAVED BY ENSLAVED

My ear boner has been throbbing night and day and day and night for the moist Metal vagina of Enslaved's Vertebrae for weeks. That is some sweet action. Don't tell anybody but I've even decamped to the out-of-the-way restrooms at work to gratify myself with a quick song or two from side B. Boy howdy I could sure go for a headlining tour in fact I'd toss an extra $20 on the stage to have Ivar Bjørnson (above) just Tiger Woods me right in the face with his guitar (bridge first). But I guess that's never gonna happen. Stupid life. A band statement via Blabbermouth: 

It is with great regret that Enslaved has to announce the cancellation of the North American Vertebrae tour [with Swallow The Sun and Keep Of Kalessin] scheduled for May 2009. At the heart of the issue lies a tour that was hard to get together in the first place so we've decided to let the whole tour be cancelled and start working on setting up a new North American tour all the way from scratch again. . . Our sincere apologies to all the fans that were ready to come out to these shows; but rest assured — we are working day and night on setting up the new tour that will replace these dates.

Here's the setlist from a coupla weeks ago at Eindoven's Dynamo Club that's in The Netherlands in sweet, Metal-worshipping Europe:

Clouds 

Fusion of Sense and Earth 

New Dawn 

Ruun

As Fire Swept Clean the Earth 

Ground

To The Coast 

Eld 

Allfadr Odin 

The Watcher 

Isa 

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Jotunblod

Slaget I Skogen Bortenfor

STREAM FOR ME LONG BEACH

Hey this has come up before, but check out the black-and-white examples of wise marketing: Enslaved, a band I don't listen to, is streaming their new album here. Trivium, a band I hate, is streaming their new album here. One record would've slipped by unbeknownst to HooM! and the other would've been ignored. One record slays, and the other is an encouraging improvement by a young, developing group.  

Making entire albums available is especially pertinent to heavy music. With some variation, this is how Metal people get into bands: You jump into your friend's car (or Scott Burns' pick-up) and dude presses play on some shit you haven't heard. You shred, you shrug, or you sneer. But you're poised to like it cause your wallet is no lighter and your bud is trustworthy (he got you into The Crown, The Ocean, and uh Scatterbrain). So streaming entire albums stirs up the same feelings, as the band themselves screech up alongside you in their Camaro let you give their new record a fair listen. Bravo Enslaved, Trivium. Listen up major labels!