TOWNSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEND!

I was trying to convince myself today that, having once distractedly half-listened to Devin Townsend's new record, I am now merely taking some time off from it. That was nearly three months ago, reports iTunes, taunting me. The truth is that I'm scared to listen to it a second time. In retrospect, I kinda shoulda been in crash positions for the record what for all the bizarre conceptual ground he's been covering in recent interviews, but please let's respect each other and take it as a given that no matter what is said, whatever the record turned out to be would turn out good. Devin's shit is like that sometimes; it's really big, weird, poppy Metal written, performed, produced, and released by the same handful of people. I've never once misidentified a band's song as one of Devin's, which is the confusing way of saying his records are pure Devin and even the bands for whom he creates whole records don't really live in the same world or galaxy even.

The point I'm slowing sneaking up on is that way back in early summer on that Monday that I stubbed my toe all to fuck and listened to Ki, I did not at all understand what I was hearing. It sounded like a bunch of dicking around! Mumbling! Very little of the album remains in my memory, but simply put I did not get it. I distinctly remember thumbing through a Scientific American or some shit while listening to it! Yes, sadly it is true! And it turns out I've been in denial about this fact since fucking June 22. The reviews are positive and reliable Vince Neilstein likes it. I have to listen to it again eventually, so my hope is it's one of those records like say Mental Vortex or Streets that make no sense at first and then rule your ballz 4 life. If not, it basically means that life has disowned me and I'm in a bad mood until further notice. Wish me luck. Do iiit.

HEAVY AS A REALLY DEVY THING

As combustible balls of white-hot rage, the team behind MetalSucks' 21 Best Albums of the 21st Century...So Far wisely opted to avenge the list's incompleteness with a post script, and though my Crown pitch was shot to the ground, it was a thrill to instead tongue-bathe Strapping Young Lad's astounding tour de asskick Alien. More thrilling was the outpouring of pro-Devin Townsend comments; truly, I was shocked at the number of rockers who share my deep spiritual connection with DevyMetal, captured to quintessential effect on SYL's fourth.

Another 50000 words could've been devoted to Alien's depth of brilliance, though most gaps in my disrespectfully brief writing were filled by MS comment jockeys. But the freaky thing is that even among fans of Alien, none mentioned its cousin, Townsend's little-loved Physicist record. Called at the time "Strapping lite," Physicist was proto-Alien cacophony folded into some of Devy's most memorable messages and melodies (above, die if you don't love it). On MS, pastoral, expansive records like Ocean Machine, Terria, and Infinity (home to "Dynamics," current vote leader in the HooM! Funeral Song poll to the right) get all the love, but let's not forget the Revolver to Alien's Sgt. Pepper. Crank it.

AT HOOM! WE INSULT FOR JUSTICE

Those corrupt gossip page celebrity-baiters sure make it hard on us honest, all-American satirists with their bullshit tips and ugly jealousy. Take, say, supreme fuck-up Perez Hilton, who this week discovered one way to make a grown man disregard the rules against violence upon the flamingly gay. Perez suddenly resembles a James Ellroy character but the lesson here is Will.I.Am is a national hero for asking his manager to backhand that tubby slug, and if I were to flatter myself I'd anticipate a nut-kicking from Sharon Osbourne. It's true; many times I've totally stepped over the line by implying she in fact has a penis. And more than once I've portrayed her as an Ozzy-killing drug-peddling tampon face. Wait that wasn't it. Opportunistic hag nobody schooled in the rip-off arts by father Don Arden. That sounds right. Anyway, take your best swing, Shozzy.

DEVIN YOU'RE SCARING US

Hey y'know that whole thing about Joaquin Phoenix quitting movies to be an MC or whatever? But it's supposed to be a hoax, an inside joke? For now, let's file Devin Townsend's new sober lifestyle and freaky overtalking in that same drawer. I mean, anybody with at least one functioning ear knows that Townsend is a fucking genius. From the screaming Metal of Strapping Young Lad to his more pensive, expansive solo stuff (like 2007's Ziltoid The Omniscient), his records KILL, a fact made remarkabler by the scant downtime between them. He's the Steve Marriott of Metal, the guy that all singers and guitarists and producers secretly admit is the real shit, the best voice, the keenest ear, the most soul. 

So it's alarming and scary that in 2009 Townsend sounds like a changed man with a different approach to music. It's always sad to see a superstar ambassador of our drug community change sides, but it's not about that. Not exactly. Townsend describes his upcoming record Ki (teaser here), the first in a four-volume project (via Blabbermouth):

Many folks have been waiting to see what I do next after SYL and Ziltoid, so after careful consideration, I wanted the first record to be quiet and subtle. However, fear not chaos fans... the next two records in the quartet are progressively heavier; the third volume, Deconstruction, is the heaviest music I've ever created. I know as I get older, a steady diet of chaotic music does little more than give me a headache. So with Ki, I wanted to re-introduce myself in a way that says, "I can make chaos like you've never heard. But for starters, please get comfortable." 

The common ground to my previous releases would be my voice, but even my guitar playing has changed. I use primarily a clean tone now (no distortion) and in terms of the sonics, I have used very little compression and it is not mastered very loud. The term Ki loosely means "life force" and, therefore, in almost the antithesis to my previous albums, there is no real editing or triggers on the drums. Much of the music was recorded "live off the floor." I wanted to preserve the energy flow without worrying so much about mistakes.

Ki appeared after I quit drugs. I found myself angry at drugs, in all honesty. I spent many, many years stoned out of my mind, making music that although clever, was a misrepresentation of what I truly feel I wanted to say. Once I started "clearing up," I found that reality in many ways is much HEAVIER than the drug world. It has sharper edges and less release, but the point with Ki is that I need to clarify a lot of things I've said in the past musically. I believe in spirituality, and that life force is much more intense when I participate in it with a sober mind. 

Huh. News of four (!) new Devy records should make my wang scream, but it's totally disturbing when a lifestyle change causes musicians to drastically alter their perfectly sound approach to being awesome. I get it that drugs are wrong for Townsend now, but it's specious (at least) for him to conclude that his drug years (and their fruits) require a total reversal. What parts of transcendent records like Terria or Physicist could be wrong or dishonest? Does he truly intend to distance himself from life-saving perfection of Infinity? From sonics to performance to content, Townsend is negating and reversing. He claims he wants to clarify his past sentiments, but his words tell a different story. He's becoming an anti-Devin.

It's just as likely that Townsend is fully aligned with himself now, and that Strapping Young Lad and his classic Devin Townsend albums, brilliant as they are, represent but a fraction of his potential. Ki, and Destruction and Addiction and Whatever may be the best, purest Devin music ever, an unfiltered expression of a profound musical mind. For now, all we have is (a shitload) of explanations and a very disheartening five minutes of clips. Or it's joke.