5.31.2008

Mission Accomplished: Half Of Shitty Band Talks Briefly With US Soldier

It looks like Disturbed is pulling ahead of Godsmack in the hotly contested race for the coveted Shittiest Excuse For A Band Ever Award. Don't count out Staind, either. From Blabbermouth.net:

Footage of Disturbed members Dan Donegan (guitar) and Mike Wengren (drums) hanging out with a soldier from Cincinnati backstage before the show at Bogart's has been posted online at the group's YouTube channel. The guy had just returned from Iraq during the prior month and presented the band with an American flag, while Disturbed returned the favor with a pair of drumsticks, several guitar picks, and a bass pick.

'The guy?' Guess they didn't have time for his life story: "Yeah, we got it. You're a soldier. You're from Cincinatti. Get over yourself already." Luckily for us, the horribly-worded press release pointed out that Mike Wengren is the band's drummer. 

The press release has Disturbed vocalist David Draiman going on to explain that once you ignore that the soldiers are, y'know, about to go kill people, it's really quite flattering that the cannon fodder brave men and women listen to Dicksturd in preparation for battle. Yeah, Dave, and if you can get over the itching, psoriasis is quite stylish. 

To recap: Shitty band travels exactly seven feet to donate a 11 cents worth of crap (which they get free) to a nameless soldier, nets 40 billable hours for their publicity reps to tell the world. Just think -- they could've budgeted that money to get 'the guy' some body armor for his imminent return to active duty! But instead, they're using him to sell records to idiots! And if 'the guy' lives long enough to show off his souvenirs, it's more exposure for their endorsing pick/drumstick companies. The world is saved! That's 'One Lucky Soldier'!

New album out Tuesday! Free cockpunch with every purchase!

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