Ted Nugent Is A Fuckstick

It's a heavy annoying news day, but congrats to Ted Nugent! He's more annoying than the rumored birth of Angelina Jolie's twins in France (le barf), Thom Yorke's claiming ownership of footage of any human singing a Radiohead song (bonerface), and Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler's foot checking into drug rehab (my feet are blazed 24/7). Wow!

Alas, The Most Annoying News Award goes to Terrible Ted. Oh, what's that? His nickname is no longer 'Terrible' Ted? Because of the denotations of the word 'terror'? He's 'Uncle Ted' now? I guess that's a fitting moniker for a racist who occasionally purchases teenaged girls. Nuuuge! A new press release states:

Whether he's unleashing a firestorm of guitar licks* or speaking his mind politically and socially like no one else**, Ted Nugent has never held anything back -- and those two sides of Ted come together potently on his new song, the unflinchingly*** titled "I Am The NRA."

Adds Ted: "...If not for the formation and growth of this fundamental grassroots organization, individual American citizens would no longer have that U.S. constitutionally guaranteed God-given right to keep and bear arms. Thank God for the NRA."

So... If Ted is the NRA, and Thank God for the NRA, then Thank God for Ted? Man, God's a dickhole. 

   *not to mix metaphors
 **few could be as sub-moronic
***titles can't flinch

No comments: