Usually I'd lede this bit of good news with some self-indulgent comments about my history with Kreator like say the first time I got a boner from something German that didn't involve defecation (Kreator's "People of the Lie" video) or maybe the sordid tale of not returning that weathered Coma Of Souls tape to those stuck-up, awesome Sicilian guys I went to college with. Instead, let's pretend I blathered about those meaningless non-events but reclaim that time and energy to just go listen for free to the fucking awesome new Kreator record, Hordes of Chaos, while giggling like an idling motorboat at hilarious German words like Hört and plattgewalzt and Veröffentlichungstermin. I just gave you a piece of your life back. Huh I guess that kinda makes me your god. Now get me some Fritos!
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