We all know that there are few things more embarrassing than unwittingly hiring a sex pervert for your already iffy rock band. Chalk that up to a big whoopsie-doodle for Wayne Static of Static-X, for whom I've always secretly rooted to overcome the considerable handicap of being from Chicago. Oh and fronting an awful band. So when the story broke in 2006 that Static-X guitarist Tripp Eisen (above, rrrar!) would do jail time for cyber-pederasty, my heart sank a bit for Mr. Tall Hair and his disco-metal outfit. At least the super-duper former Warner Bros. publicist Monica Seide wouldn't be stuck with damage control.
Now I for one knew something was fishy back when the then-newly enlisted Eisen revealed to me plans for a Static-X covers album to include the Steely Dan favorite "Hey Thirteen." It's called "Hey Nineteen" but who's counting right? Oh. The federal authorities are counting. From MetalSucks:
Eisen went and done it again [sic], according to New Jersey Department of Corrections website, which helps track local sex offenders; a report says Eisen attempted “to lure or entice a child” in October of ‘08, a violation of the terms of his parole. Consequently, he’s been back behind bars since December, where he will apparently remain until October.
Ah MetalSucks: Come for the rap sheet but stay for the zing (ref. concluding paragraph)! Sadly, MS co-chief Axl Rosenberg's hilariousness exposes the lame nature of my material on the once-great Warrior Soul's quest for obscurity. I was just gonna make fun of the total so-what? line-up change but what's the point now. Happy, Professor McChuckles? From Blabbermouth:
Warrior Soul has parted ways with drummer Rob "Stevo" Stephenson and replaced him with Billy Williams. Frontman Kory Clarke stated: "[Williams is] fucking nuts. He fits right in, knows the material, and can rock with anyone I've ever played with. He'll be a blast to hang out with again!"
Oh wait how about this: Somebody should tell Eisen that's what happens when you "Push It" too far! Talk about a Wisconsin Death Tripp! That band should be called Statick-XXX. OK I'll just let myself out.
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