DIE WITH YOUR BOOBS ON

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

Ugh k I'm not into pistol-whipping blind kids so I won't waste our lives pointing out all the mind-mangling hypocrisy on VH1's Rock Of Love: Charm School reunion special last night. But sweet fancy moses for my own goddamn sanity let us again examine the Sharon Osbourne-Megan Hauserman incident. At the top of the show, Riki Rachtman, dumb fuck, leads the chorus of wagging tongues extended to receive Shosbourne's steaming dump and it just gets worse. When Hauserman, one of two Charm Schoolers with a spine, is called to the stage, Shosbourne sets about insulting her not once not twice but thrice. Finally, Hauserman retaliates with some pointed comments re: her pretense and fake-ass wannabe celebrity status and utter exploitation of Ozzy Osbourne. Whereupon Sharon waddles over and splashes a drink in the visibly intoxicated Hauserman's face and attacks her where she sits.

Months earlier Hauserman ostensibly had been 'expelled' from Charm School for the same reason; just as VH1 downplayed the Brandi M.'s instigating shove that brought on the Hauserman kick, once again we get a mere cut-away so the home audience is left in doubt as to Sharon's guilt. But the slag's make-up, hair, and wardrobe were untouched while Hauserman was carried away, less a fistful of hair. And why was the show buried at such an early slot?

As a ahem strong woman and cough role model, Osbourne may be a gigantic fucking hypocrite for attacking people; again, Hauserman absorbed a dozen insults before zinging Sharon where it stings the most: her fake power-player bullshit. Who else has she managed? Coal Chamber? All those second stage never-beens? Smashing Pumpkins for six minutes? What would Ozzfest have been without her property I mean husband? Did The Chevy Chase Show outlast her daytime program? She is a botox-pumped fraud and twice the cunt as the worst Charm Schooler (for the record: Heather Chadwell congrats on landing Anna Nicole Smith's former stylist wow). And if you buy that horseshit about Osbourne's violence being in defense of her husband's honor, get the fuck out of my face you rube; if that were her concern, Ozzy wouldn't have done those last three records. Or Pepsi and mobile phone ads. Or ripped off Bob Daisley and Lee Kerslake. Twice.

As if to stamp out any further doubt, Osbourne goes on to backhand Bret Michaels and laud Charm School winner Brandi M. for earmarking her prize money for the worthy cause of breast implants and a trip to Hawaii. That is, after a visit to wow the Playboy Mansion. Sucks to be you, Sharon. You are a zero. Ask around if you don't believe me. P.S. Fuck Riki Rachtman.