RIGHT NOW SAMMY IS TALKING SHIT ABOUT YOU

Man alive I try my best to like Sammy Hagar for who and what he is (a brain-dead fun boy with some gag-inducing but awesome songs) but between his pseudo-Jimmy Buffet businesses and big fat mouth ... shit it's hard work. He's still flapping his lip about that Sans Halen tour! With almost no prompting. When was that even, pre-Bin Laden? The world has moved on, Sammers. Seems like the classy thing to do would be enjoy your wealth and success with your trap firmly shut. Nope! Hold on to your hats; there's some major half-assed reasoning ahead. From an interview with Imhotep, Hagar sounds off

On the Sammy Hagar/David Lee Roth Sans Halen co-headline tour:
Dave is not an easy guy to get along with. I like him. I just feel he is still trying to be the same guy he was in 1984 and he's not. No matter what you heard from the press or what he said, I'm telling you right now he bombed every fucking night. He didn't sell any t-shirts. He was so embarrassed that he would sell 100 shirts and I would sell 7,000, and it was completely obvious that the fans were walking way going, 'Man, what the fuck was that?' You can make people cheer any way you want, but will they come back and see you? Dave tried to get back on tour and it was a disaster because he ruined everything.

On Velvet Revolver's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction performance:
I don't think it was very good and I really like those guys. It was unfair to take a young band like that, that had only been together for one album and try and make them try to be Van Halen. I like those guys a lot, they are really good friends. But for Slash to try and play Eddie's stuff was wrong. They should have had Steve Vai or Joe Satriani, or somebody like that to play the part. They should have had a legend induct and put together a great bunch of players who are more adapted to Van Halen to do the tribute."

On the 'new' Van Halen with Wolfgang Van Halen on bass:
I think that Eddie wasn't thinking clear. The whole thing about Eddie is that he should take Wolfie and produce a record for him, so he and Alex [Van Halen] could play on the record and they could get a young singer that is like Wolfie, and let him start his own band. I mean, The Beatles didn't get Julian to replace John Lennon when he died.

On you:
You're cool but I tell ya your friends like me, Sammy, better. Last time we all hung out, you really disappointed them by ordering the ranch-parmesan wings. After you left, I felt bad for you for all the grumbling that went on. Seriously I respect you, dude, but what you should do is head down to Cabo and parrrty with the Red Rocker. It wouldn't kill you to wear some tight yellow clothing either.