1.23.2009

CLASH OF THE TITANS II



It's a slow news day so I, too, took most of the afternoon to free-associate the identity of the unannounced co-headliners of the upcoming Slayer tour. Oh yeah let's get this out of the way:
According to the Artisan News Service, veteran Los Angeles thrashers Slayer will announce a new co-headlining tour on Monday.
Typically Slayer teams with some admirable but crummy non-Metal band like Marilyn Manson or whatever and that kinda makes sense cuz real Metal people have all seen Slayer like 400 times. I can't remember when I haven't seen Slayer. I also can't recall what I had for breakfast today but anyway now that Metal is again pretty serious profit-wise, they should go with a real heavy-hitter. Most are already spoken for with killer tours of their own, except Mastodon and jeez they just got off tour with Slayer. And Mastodon will do their own tour, right? Please?

What about Testament, who promised me January tour dates back in August (best show ever) but have been quiet since? Those cats got juice lately. In fact, why not just grab fellow Clash Of The Titans (best tour ever) alum Anthrax for a delightful Clash of the Titans II tour? Megadeth isn't invited due to extreme suckage plus Dave's got his wack Gigantour brand anyway. Slayer, Testament, Anthrax ... Yummy. Now hmm a promising, not-thrash, kinda fruity band to open ... Protest The Hero? BAM! I'm going on break.


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