This week What Would Tyler Durden Do? ran a tabloid headline claiming that in the six months leading up to his death, Michael Jackson consumed a whopping 10,000 multicolored uppers, downers, screamers, and/or laughers. So basically he took down an ocean of pills -- the anti-depressants alone are a Lake Erie -- on top of Demerol blasts into the spine and all the other weird shit inflicted on that cursed post-human. Whoa. Damn no wonder there's so much blubbering about this; Pfizer's bonuses just went right in the shitter. Well rest easy folks cuz I'm rolling up my sleeves here. It won't be easy to pick up MJ's slack, but goddamn it someone's got to try haven't they? Those drugs musn't fall into the hands of actual sick people.