The new Megan Hauserman (here) show is called VH1 Tests Laws of the Cosmos and Your Patience and great god it sucks donkey balls. Somebody needs to lose their job; it's just retarded to remove plotting, devious, sexy, lazy, half-drunk Megan from her role as shit-stirrer/puppetmaster and instead make her the straight man, so to speak, among a douchepile the size of Wisconsin. And you can tell that the post team isn't getting good footage from the not-wearing-a-bikini-for-some-reason Megan, because the show's uh 34 minutes of content is wall-to-wall wienerbags and dong-smugglers in the act of basically begging for sex. First of all, get the fuck in line; secondly, shouldn't these shiny, over-groomed turds be at MOCT all obliviously attempting to show off masculine, fish-mouthed Asian chicks with really severe make-up? Sorry but if you got offended at that, you've never been to the midwest. But anyway, the runners of this show need to Megan it up! And Brandi C! Here's a guideline: In each segment, the two should rub their boobs together a lot. Look at that -- I just got producer credit! Thanks HooMiverse!
Episode two had one laugh, however, when Megan posed that classic question to the stripper guy (named The Penetrator or The Faceraper or something): Where does he see himself in five years? Late comic Mitch Hedberg owns this phrase (on 2003's Mitch All Together) and well the moral of the story is that I miss Mitch Hedberg. I had kinda folded some Hedberg funding into my yearly budget, so certain were regular Mitch shows until I die. Instead I got annual Mitch shows until he died, and next month is the fifth anniversary of the last time I saw him. He zinged us with that Krokus joke.