FOLLOW ME OR DIE

A swell of pride filled my breast this morning as HooM!'s followers count has reached a robust 13. Oh baby. That places HooM! in the same popularity bracket as Anthrax ZING! But seriously, that's awesome and you're awesome and I hope you read the awesome Behemoth interview that the cosmos bestowed upon me last week. Know what else is awesome? The awesome Metal awesomes who dude-flirted with me at the supermarket on Saturday. That's what. There was some line chaos in the self-checkout, and when I protested, they bro'd me back to calmness with righteous Metal chatting. I tried to all talk up the Behemoth interview (read it) but suddenly I glanced down and the broccoli and CTC in my basket came into sharp contrast with the glistening 32oz brews in each of their hands, their merry hesher hands. My confidence withered but I'm fairly certain that those chucklehouses can identify a person who's stoned down to their very DNA, and therefore might cut me some slack though that night's grocery list was straight from a chick flick. The real tragedy is that I should've been making fun of one who listed his favorite band as Children of Bodom. He was kidding right?