ReviewGate: Metallica Responds

I'm sleepy today due to a late-night viewing of Revenge Of The Nerds (I noticed for the first time, like, three hilarious jokes). And thus, I could've done without this steaming load from Metallica in response to last week's flap. From Blabbermouth.net:

Once we re-surfaced on Tuesday after a few weeks on tour in Europe, we were informed that someone at Q Prime (our managers) had made the error of asking a few publications to take down reviews of the rough mixes from the new [Metallica] record. Our response was 'WHY?!!! Why take down mostly positive reviews of the new material and prevent people from getting psyched about the next record ... that makes no sense to us!' [sic]

I remember an Anthrax interview in Guitar Player where Scott Ian or somebody was lauding the mixing team of Michael Barbiero & Steve Thompson on the band's then-new Persistence Of Time album. GP's interviewer countered by asking why a substandard final mix marred the duo's previous major project, Metallica's ... And Justice For All. The answer was politely worded, pointing out what everybody knows: that Lars and James are in charge of everything; if Justice sounds crappy, it's because Barbiero & Thompson followed orders. 

With that as our logical basis, HooM! can likewise conclude that if Q Prime acts on behalf of Metallica, their actions are a direct or indirect extension of Lars Ulrich and the culture he's created within and surrounding the band. James Hetfield seems to inhabit some parallel dimension, unable to process oxygen and hesitant to stir, since Metallica began to suck donkey dicks. 

Plus, it's easy to suspect that Larstallica had full knowledge of the pull-downs since A) their excuse for tardy resolution is incredibly flimsy (they were in Europe, where the internet is shut down during Metallica tours?); and B) you can't tell me Lars doesn't call in every 10 minutes to count beans with Q Prime goons; and C) the lame, blame-shifting PR-speak at work here (i.e. twice mentioning management by name, attributing actions to management as directly in conflict with band mentality, vague syntax like "someone at Q Prime," "a few publications," "rough mixes," "mostly positive reviews," and "getting psyched"); and D) despite being in a clearly reactive pants-down state, the band is portrayed as active in "tak[ing] matters into our own hands and just post[ing] the [taken down] links on our site" with no admission of responsibility for the actions of their representatives. Waaaaack!

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