AXL ROSE IS A NARC

'Hey. Stop the song. I smell pot.'

We at HooM! are happy to report that there are no murderers, rapists, or terrorists left in America and now the FBI can finally move on to more important matters: safeguarding wAxl Rose's album that he's been holding over us lo these 48 years. Oh Axl, great one, will our ear-ginas ever be suitable to receive your golden shaft and its pearly load of hyper-evolved rock? From Billboard.com:

Federal authorities say they have arrested a blogger suspected of streaming songs from Rose N' Roses unreleased album, Chinese Democracy, on his Web site.

FBI agents arrested 27-year-old Kevin Cogill August 27 on suspicion of violating federal copyright laws. Federal authorities say Cogill posted nine unreleased Rose N' Roses songs on Antiquiet.com in June. The songs were later removed but spread quickly across the Internet.

Classy! According to a Cogill colleague at Antiquiet, the 'theatrical' FBI agents were 'anything but quiet and graceful during their ass-crack-of-dawn descent on [Cogill's] sleepy house.' Nice show of pointless force, dorks. Last time I checked, leaking copyrighted material on the internet was not a violent crime and if Cogill were a flight risk, he probably would jumped town after the first time the RIAA's goon squad came calling. It's official: Axl has been revoked. Know what happens to narcs? They get face-banged by angry biker gangs. Enjoy.