8.25.2008

THANKS TO KOBE BRYANT WE'LL ALL BE TAKING GOLDEN SHOWERS



I'm pretty sure American society only served as a hindrance to the development of the glorious, face-blasting ballers of Team USA, what with the institutionalized racism and classist economic warfare and all. Oh and don't forget that all but one Team USA player represents an ethnic group that was abducted at gunpoint from another continent. None of that stops the president and country at large from unironically showing support and assuming default credit for rich-beyond-oppression, America-glorifying athletes and their nearly all-white coaching team. (Thanks for coming, Nate. Really.)

Anyway, the key to victory was clearly not this garbage nation and its asshole ruling class; the credit belongs to the greatest basketball minds and bodies in the world. During the NBA season, I spend about 15-20 hours a week staring at these titans and in all sincerity, mega-HooM! Horns to Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade, Tayshaun Prince, Chris Bosh, and all of the Redeem Team who surmounted the handicap of being natives of America to win the 2008 Men's Basketball Gold Medal.


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