GET OFF MY LAND

If you give two shits about the Olympics, you're totally gay. At least that's the prevailing mentality here at HooM! HQ. The whole thing takes place in disgusting-but-rocking Beijing (China's Chicago, if you will) and involves a bunch of lifeless droids doing pointless things slightly faster than lamewads from years past. And this Olympics' superstar looks like the guy from Nuclear Assault. Yuck.

The exception is basketball, and today I finally was able to catch a USA game. If it could be called that. More closely resembling a total, merciless slaughter, the match involved God Of Basketball Kobe Bryant, Prince LeBron James, and other sorely-missed (see you in October, CP!) USA ballers just blasting Germany's national 'team' out of the damn gym. Good thing all those protesters of China's awful government weren't around to distract anyone. Just like the pesky hikers who keep disrupting James Hetfield's beauty rest. From Marin Independent Journal:

James Hetfield of the band Metallica has erected a metal fence on his property on a Terra Linda hilltop, closing off a popular trail and angering hikers, bikers and equestrians.

Someone scrawled "SHAME DISGRACE" on the 300-foot-long, 8-to 10-foot-high corrugated metal silver fence adorned with barbed wire at its far edges.

"Look at the barbed wire. This a serious fence," said hiker Tom McMillan of San Rafael, as he walked along the shiny behemoth late last week.

But David Warner said vandalism of a previous, smaller gate, and of signs and other property along the trail, prompted Hetfield to block access with the large structure.

"It is private property," said Warner, who does construction work for the rocker. "There was some damage done by certain people. If people were cool, this would not be an issue."

Ha. 'If people were cool.' That sounds like the very same excuse Lars was peddling to explain his anti-Napster thing. And the abysmal failure of their last record. And since when is James such a narc? I can see him waving a cane, hoarsely screaming "Hey you kids! Get outta here! This is my property!" But hey, at least this flap has lead to some fresh HooM! Hexclusive in-studio rehearsal footage of Lars and James.