Look up there at that picture. Go ahead and add some pretty birds tweeting and ribbons flowing through the air and bam! that's how Brandi C. looks through my eyes. Should we marry cough that's the plan cough our first child will be named Angelpie. But B.C.'s run on Rock Of Love Charm School saw its sudden end last night on account of one harmless um drunken loogie, destination: fellow charm schooler Destiney's outraged face. And so that's it VH1 with Megan gone -- and I fought every boner-based urge in my well my boner to gripe about that forthemostpart -- but now The Brandy Sea ousted ... well game fucking over. Those other ta-ramps don't 'rock my world.' They're so ... Actually I'll have to quote the sage DMX re: the remaining mental cases in female form* on ROLCS: "Y'all niggas are characters/Not even good actors."
And yet despite the Brandi C. projectile and Heather's asthma attack (which manifests in outbreaks of plate-throwing and cheap theatrics), Sharon Osbourne still succeeded to shoehorn in some camera time to totally disgrace Metal and her husband, like it or not the King of Metal. Ugh: In the heat of drunk-ass battle, mega-brat Lacey zinged the eminently belittleable Heather, saying "You actually think you're an A-list star!" which is hilarious cuz Lacey was probably exaggerating for effect, which didn't keep Heather from bellowing "I am, betch!" Priceless. But upon hearing of all this, Shosbourne disgustedly states that this kind of talk is senseless and for the record, it is she who is the celebrity.
Um you? Celebrity? Negatory, old girl. Ozzy is a celebrity. You're just in his shot. P.S. Fuck Riki Rachtman.
*Not you, Destiney and Kristy Jo you guys are cool. I'm just very upset that's all. P.S. Fuck Riki Rachtman.
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