Here at HooM!, it's no secret that I'm not above going off topic with some stale news then wrapping it in a semi-relevant personal anecdote about shitting myself or finding three vicodin wrapped in a sudoku that I'd totally forgotten about. It's all part of my sick egomania thing; my girlfriend thinks I have a persecution complex which I express by preemptively sending out shockwaves of false arrogance and disrespect. Ya know, to repel people who could injure my fragile self-esteem.
I think the real problem isn't that she's incorrect, but that my profession isn't in film production or acting. What the fuck did they pay my douchelord high school guidance counselor for anyway? The signs were there! Let's see, Anso -- you're 18, you enjoy berating people with almost no provocation. You worship yourself and prefer states of extreme intoxication. You're devestatingly attractive and unconscionably greedy. BAM! You're an actor! Now get out there and scream yourself hoarse at some underpaid technical staffer!
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