I'm not really the type to crack under pressure, but my job is scrambling my brain and, worse, disrupting my recreational drug use. And that means one thing: sudden outbursts of senseless violence. Yep, it was I who pummeled Rihanna in Hancock Park before tear-assing all over town in my Bentley with a half-dozen black and whites on my trail. But this grim tale has a happy ending as God Forbid snapped me to my senses by posting their entire new record Earthsblood. Greater Los Angeles owes them a debt of thanks; had I not been stopped in my tracks by Metal, who knows what woulda gone down at the Oscars. That Richard Jenkins has been strutting around like a real wise-ass lately.
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