2.18.2009

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE II



If a momentary hush fell across your town and your living room lights dimmed, it's obviously because the beloved Ultraspank has announced its historic reformation. I hope they tour with Hoobastank and Spineshank. No but seriously, in news that living humans actually care about, Blabbermouth reports that former Faith No More guitarist Jim Martin will not take part in FNM reunion shows, which do not exist:
A source close to guitarist Jim Martin, who was in the group from 1983 until 1993, has told Blabbermouth that the axeman recently expressed interest in taking part in the reunion after being contacted by keyboardist Roddy Bottum and a member of the band's management, but that the band [has now] decided to utilize a different guitarist — believed to be one of several musicians that were in Faith No More following Martin's exit from the group — for the upcoming dates.
On one hand, it's safe to assume that the tip originates with Martin himself, since it's tough to imagine that there truly are "sources close to" him. OK that sounds pretty mean but last we heard, his passions included pumpkin-farming and no longer being a member of Faith No More, two activities that don't encourage business representation. Or even casual acquaintance. On the uh same hand, accepting the Blabbereport as true would mean there's creedence to the reunion rumors, that life is worth living, and finally, that I'd be forced to stop killing myself with drugs and Fritos. I don't know if I'm ready for that.


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