2.16.2009

WILL THERE EVER BE A RAINBOW?




Like all loudmouths, I love whaling on easy targets but ugh it's exhausting. So a lot of opportunist nonsense in Metal (and elsewhere) is best dismissed with rolled eyes and a curt wave of the hand. And even a worshipper of Dio-era Rainbow could effortlessly glaze over the news of a knockoff band featuring ninth-string singer Joe Lynn Turner, a slumming Tony Carey, and a guy related to guitarist Ritchie Blackmore, all performing under the exploitive and hideous moniker Over The Rainbow. That's so third world, like buying elephant tusks or hunting homeless children for sport. 

It's so beneath me that I hadn't planned to acknowledge this back-alley abortion to myself, let alone spend oh seven minutes typing words about it. But alas live clips of OTR's debut performance (above) are indeed vile enough to successfully drag HooM! into the sludge. Damn. Turner explains to somebody who cared enough to ask: 
I was sitting in Russia with a few promoters [who asked me] "You know, it would be great to have a Rainbow reunion. Do you think that'll ever happen?" [I replied] "Well, you know, you're not going to get Ritchie, you know what I mean? He's really happy doing what he's doing. It wouldn't work." So then it hit me. I said, "I think I have an idea." And they said, "What is it?" and I said, "Blackmore's got a son."
Duh-duh-DUHHHHHH! That's right, folks: two promoters and an also-ran singer solving the world's problems one at a time. No Rainbow reunion? Then enlist Blackmore's spawn and some other guys to tour Eastern Europe! Too drunk to get a boner? Use a doorstop!


No comments: