THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF OUR LIVES

As a social retard (and usually a mental one as well stupid vicodin), I find that an easy way to effectively simulate person-to-person interaction is to postulate on pet theories and analogies. That way the give-and-take of a conversation is absent; it's more like you're talking in front of people. Sorry but small talk is fuck king bore ring, dude, so to some extent, I think normal people do this as well. Only they rant about business, politics, or non-Lakers sports. Snore.

One of my stand-bys lately is neo-Thrash metal, its significance, and its awesomeness. The trouble, I say with a spray of Dorito shrapnel, is that records from Municipal Waste and Warbringer are boffo socko, but more than anything, it's my hope that some gifted band will light the fire in me not of the balls-out punkishness of early Thrash, but the soul-stirring, life-justifying Phase II Thrash. 

That's a tall order, as the complexity and shit let's call it vibe of State of Euphoria, Rust In Peace, and Practice What You Preach will never be duplicated (duh). What I'm dying for is the next volume in that series. Now, I'm not trying to turn back time; Metal has evolved too much to convincingly justify a return to a sound with no traces of post-Pantera Metal. But is there no band who'll pick up the torch and run it the next length of track? Can't there be another record to achieve that distinct pitch, the combination of individualism, disgust, musicianship, songcraft, and satire? 

It appears that my new go-to conversation-ender will be the Lakers adjusting to Bynum's injury, cuz Lamb of God just closed the door on my quest for a Thrash classic after 1992. Time will tell if Wrath truly stands besides the classics of Phase II Thrash, but as of this moment, if you strip away its innumerable artificial harmonics with squealing vibrato (or pings, raised to predominance in rhythm guitar parts by Dime and Zakk Wylde), and allow for groove-based vibes and ok fine the flat-fifth Piggy chord so frequently abused by Dillinger Escape Plan, gasp, what we have here with Wrath is the long-awaited first installment of Phase III Thrash Metal. The melody, the atmosphere, the lyrics, the reiteration of themes, the chords (holy fuck I'm so sick of single-note riffs!), the attitude, the virtuosity, the completeness. A gold medal, a ten, a MASTERPIECE.