The Metal Inquisition guys are inviting screaming sword attacks with the latest installment of Metal Real Estate, their Pulitizer-winning investigative series*. Entertaining like a bloody car wreck, MRE has already peeled back the curtain to reveal modest to underwhelming lifestyles of Glenn Danzig and Anthrax's Joey Belladonna (ne Bellardini giggle). Then last week, MI obliterated any myth surrounding the lives of those cursed souls in Manowar (above, hey what's going on over there?), the ahem kings of metal, who, as it's twice iterated by MI's Lucho Metales, you'd think would have enough German festival money to move out of their parents' basement and quit that dry-walling gig. You'd think so, right? And you'd be wrong!
At risk of being a total asshole, I'll say that Manowar's financial standing is about proportionate to their musical skills. And jebus these guys had all of the '80s, when Metal made money, to set the foundations of wealth. (Is it possible they blew it all on furry underwear and tanning oil?)
Conversely, awesome bands like Lamb of God and God Forbid are hitting their creative peaks in the era of illegal downloading and economic misery. But we shan't let the fate of Manowar befall LoG or GF, whose new records come out today. Let's start by toppling that awful, sexy Taylor Swift and the Grammy-bumped Alison Krauss/Robert Plant from atop the albums chart -- and installing real Metal royalty in their stead. mmGO!
*Not true
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