I MAY BE A NERD

You're full of shit if you claim that you didn't chortle smilingly at the title of nerd-prog dorks Liquid Tension Experiment's upcoming uh album. There I said it; you're a fucking liar. It's credited to Liquid Trio Experiment and is titled When The Keyboard Breaks. Cute. So not only did 2/5ths of Dream Theater and Peter Gabriel bassist/mega-hottie Tony Levin treat a Chicago crowd to a hot June night of improv in place of their usual, not-at-all-obnoxious set (due to the titular synth malfunction), but now you can buy a recording of this splooge of notes. Outrageous!

It's always embarrassing to be entertained by the Dream Theater guys in any way (even the hilariousness of Mike Portnoy's alcoholism ha drummers), and yet my real shame today might be my unbridled excitement that an April 21 release date has been announced for Lacuna Coil's follow-up to their unambitious but awesome record, Karmacode (whatever the shit that means). All they needed was a real producer, one who wouldn't make them sound like an off-brand Korn. Aaaand cue Cristina Scabbia and her sexy ass:

[Producer Don Gilmore] helped us all find our strengths and work with them to be even better. Sometimes when you're used to something, you get stuck in your own process and you don't see the big picture. So when someone from the outside comes in, they can give you a completely different opinion that you don't have because you're always stuck in there.

Seriously, could the guys in Lacuna Coil (above) work any harder to counteract Scabbia's scorching bod and killer voice? Let's see, we got a tardhawk, mopey Emily braids guy, Professor Flat Iron there, some jackets stolen off the set of Judge Dredd, and a royal flush of dildo facial hair. Stop confusing my boner!