The very existence of magazine for young men with tin ears Blender would be unknown to me, except that somehow, the pointless fluffrag seems to follow me. My last few employers subscribed to it; when I crash at a friend's, an issue is found staring at me from the toilet tank; I even stumbled over a burst carton of them in the aisle of a bookstore once. But those days are over, as New York Times reports:
Blender, a music and entertainment magazine, will cease publication with its April issue, but will continue to publish on its Web site, blender.com, its owner, the Alpha Media Group, announced on Thursday.“We went as far as we could in a difficult environment,” said an Alpha Media spokeswoman, Nora Haynes.About 30 people will leave the company as a result of the magazine’s closing, she said.
I guess will leave the company is how Haynes pronounces will get kicked the fuck out of their offices but anyway it's kinda funny that Blender thought it could survive by offering internet-similar content in a website-esque design alternated with pictures of non-nude women for the not-free cost of $5 only 20 short days later than the actual internet. Maybe blender.com could rebound with a service that takes my emails, prints them to a letter-sized paper, and then contracts an organization to hand-deliver them to my desired recipients in 5-7 days.
Seriously, they had 30 people on staff for that? At least the really hip decision-makers responsible for Blender's content and look will be reassigned to lucrative positions at sister publication Maxim. Anyway, the gaping hole in my life left by Blender will be filled by the mini-reunion of underloved prog-Thrash quartet Anacrusis (1993's awesome, very Killing Joke-ish "Sound The Alarm" above), who are confirmed for Keep It True XIII in Chermany, much to the delight of me and 12 guys on Blabbermouth. Alright Realm, you fuckers are next. Let's get something GOING!.