Norwegian Black Metal tends to bring out the prick in everyone -- literally sometimes, am I right Gaahl buddy? But seriously folks, I felt bastardly as I cackled at the news that some creampuff from that pseudo-fuck movie for teens will portray Varg Vikernes (aka Lord Thundercheeks or whatever) in the filmed version of Lords Of Chaos, a book I read like a pre-orgasmic housewife, on a chaise longe with a handkerchief clutched to my breast. 
Jackson Rathbone, the teen heartthrob from Twilight, has reportedly agreed to play the former Burzum mastermind who is currently serving a Norwegian prison term for the August 1993 murder of Mayhem guitarist Oystein Aarseth (a.k.a. Euronymous) and setting fire to three churches — in the upcoming movie Lords Of Chaos.

Based on Michael Moynihan and Didrik Soderlind's book, the film depicts true events and revolves around the black metal sub-culture that spawned a wave of murders and church arsons across Norway in the early 1990s.
Hey it's not everyday that the words my breast and heartthrob appear on HooM! thanks a bunch, Rathbone. (Nice name by the way Wrath Bone!) I'd be all pissed if they made a biopic about my jesus (Steve Marriott) and picked some toothy mouseketeer to play him so my condolences to Black Metal sympathizers. I bet Dani Filth (above) is pissed he didn't get a callback. 

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