HOOM! Point/Counterpoint: THE AEROSMITH MEN OF LETTERS

POINT

If My Book Helps Just One Person, It Will Have Been Well Worth The Effort 

By Joey Kramer, Aerosmith

I had an emotional breakdown in 1995 when we were doing the album Nine Lives. Part of what contributed was that in my personal life, I felt so unsupported and alone. While I was in treatment, my manager at the time told my bandmates to leave me alone and let me do my work. And then he came to me and said 'See? Your partners don't care about you.'

And there's so much more in Hit Hard: A Story Of Hitting Rock Bottom At The Top: rock and roll casualties, human frailties, and confusion over the difference between love and abuse. This book also has in its pages a veritable scrapbook of photos that give you, the reader, an inside look deep behind the scenes of my private life and my incredible journey as the drummer of Aerosmith.

COUNTERPOINT

Don't Encourage Him

By Steven Tyler, Aerosmith

Hey rockers. Steven Tyler here. I'm sure you're aware of my forthcoming autobiography and have already earmarked some cash for a copy. Or you could read about the drummer's feelings. 

Remember that time I stated No food could taste as good as being thin feels, indirectly insulting my daughter, a plus-size model with big fat hooters? That's Steven Tyler, folks. In that same interview I even said that Joe Perry looks sexy while shirtless on stage. Talk about honest. And best of all, my life is packed with nutty shit to be honest about. 

I got kicked out of high school in Yonkers. Why, you ask? Drugs! It was wild. When Aerosmith was playing bars, I did a ton of drugs. Then once our band exploded, I got huge into drugs. A few years after that, Joe then Brad left because of drugs, and then my drug thing got serious but horsefeathers! Life goes on. Nobody likes a Debbie Downerpanties. 

Ha this one time, I banged this groupie a bunch of times and had my pal Todd Rundgren raise the resulting baby for like nine years! Then I got hold of her, and put her right to work grinding up against this other hot piece for the world to see in my video! Isn't that more fun than sabotaging the recording process? 

Did you know I once convinced my underage girlfriend's parents to make me her legal guardian? Ah the '70s. And what about my legendary heroin years, when the Aerosmith live show consisted of me sliding down the mic stand and singing from the floor? Of course, drumsticks and tears may be your thing.

You suspect there may be a chapter about my open antagonism of Joe Perry's first wife, about whom I wrote "Sweet Emotion." Perhaps definitive sexual conquest statistics. An outside chance of in-depth description of my current gf's junk. Yes, yes, and yes. My book is about being yourself, to the Nth degree, large as life, shababeedoobay dodayee. At least I no longer need to disclose which member of Aerosmith is secretly gay. 

Yeh-yeh-yeh-yeh YOW! The Steven Tyler Memoirs out October 27.