Covers are corny and everything but if I didn't have thick, lustrous hair I'd wear hats and tip one to Dream Theater, whose pointless cover of epic-est song of all time "Stargazer" hits iTunes this week. The notesturbators break a sacred law by recording a version of the Rainbow classic (above, now with 20% more intro noodling/Dio outro caterwauling), but compensate by sparing Dixie Dregs' "Night Meets Light," instead opting for "Odyssey" from the same album. "Night Meets Light" is also off-limits as rock music's most refined, transportative (not a word) composition ever. Never thought I'd say this, but the song peaks with a keyboard solo followed by a keyboard/violin duet that makes my balls cry. I'm not sure what that means but the shit is beautiful. Actually the keys on "Stargazer" are pretty fresh too, but Ritchie Blackmore stomps their nuts with his uh generously-paced guitar solo, replete with tasteful slide (hitherto an oxymoron) and a nifty volume/delay trick for the money shot; you can tell that Dixie Dregs guitarist/songwriter Steve Morse isn't a Blackmore-style insecure egomaniac by his muscular but post-climactic solo to wrap "Night." And by the fact that he shot the shit with 15-year old me one Bastille Day. That asshole Blackmore hasn't spent a single Bastille Day with me.