8.25.2009

WHO ARE THESE FUCKIN GUYS




It's been a while since Ozzy wasn't the least talented member of his own band, but gimmickry knows no bounds in the Osbourne dimension, and hence this pointless shake-up of the Wince of Darkness's pointless band. That's all changed, as Firewind axeman Gus. G (ne Kostas Kostonmsoihdihoihsfgdusukis) officially completed his first gig in place of heartburn sufferer Zakk Wylde, he of once-mighty riffs. The Gus debut also featured Tommy Cheetos in lieu of re-employed Faith No More drummer Mike Bordin and was thrown together for Ozzy's appearance at BlizzCon which I shit you not is a World of Warcraft event. Have fun at the nerd party, guys?
Osbourne played a 10-song set at the Anaheim Convention Center with backing band guitarist Gus G. (Firewind), drummer Clufetos (Ted Nugent), bassist Rob "Blasko" Nicholson (don't care) and keyboardist Adam Wakeman (son of a guy who didn't back-up nobody ever fuck off Jon Anderson).
That's a pretty off-brand band but whatever. The important thing is that once-rumored Zakk replacement John 'John 5' Lowery (above, on DLR Band's ninth-best song) has been thrown clear in this explosion of yawn, this non-event brought about by withered business minds charged with resuscitating the career of a decade-old corpse. Hey wow it says here that some toddler guitar prodigy joined the band to perform "Crazy Train" and thereby became the youngest ever person to owe money to Sharon. Zing.


1 comment:

Wayne said...

John 5 truly did dodge a bullet here.