9.19.2008

SPINESHANKS FOR THE MEMORIES



My little rocker cousins are a hoot. The girl is pretty emo, all beaten down by her high school's impenetrable social structure. Meanwhile, sources indicate that the boy, despite being a mere 14 years old, has surpassed me in coolness if for no other reason than that once he got a blowjob in class. I know 14 is the new 17, but dang. At his age, I was singling out the sluttiest, most suggestable potential fellaters and my reward was never more than boob-feeling. Not even boob-seeing. So that's quality work, which we all enjoy. 

As the cool older cousin, I am charged with hanging out with them and stripping away their suburban attitudes. It's an uphill battle; suburban kids are bad at Life. Life doesn't really happen there, but rather a hermetically-sealed replica of Life where no one is required to, y'know, learn how to treat a waiter who seems poised to secretly dick-rub your burger. They also strain to differentiate the 'caper' from the 'crime.' In general, they're willing to act only minimally, treating stop signs and cinema ushers as booming authority figures. 

We're off topic but my relationship with Spineshank is similar. Total dorks with some of history's worst lyrics ("Your disease is a fuck-ing waste of time"), the LA quartet was like a raw, unrefined teenager that would one day grow into a non-annoying, cool, street-fighting person. Then they broke up. But they're back with a new song. So, have they matured steadily while on hiatus? Or are we back to the fetal state of Spineshank cir. Self-Destructive Pattern? Huh, whadda ya think, Wu?

1 comment:

Vince Neilstein said...

"Life doesn't really happen there, but rather a hermetically-sealed replica of Life where no one is required to, y'know, learn how to treat a waiter who seems poised to secretly dick-rub your burger."

This is quite possibly the best line of writing I have seen all week, month, maybe even all year. I laughed so hard!