Metal people, do you love wanky solo guitar music by Steve Vai, Buckethead, and John 5? Well, by extension, obnoxious R&B singers like Monica, Brandy, and Mariah Carey should be your cuppatea. You see, there two disparate breeds of music fans should -- nay, must come together to form a Metal-R&B Mutual Appreciation Front to smash hipster bullshit like jazz and indie rock. 

Don't laugh: Both guitar and singing virtuosos tend to place creativity and flawless execution above taste, judicious editing, and humanness. Both are acquired tastes, though I challenge any human to resist loving Chris Poland's magnificent Return To Metalopolis. Tasteful, technically outrageous, and addictive, Poland finds a counterpart in R&B's Ciara ("Oh," "So What" w/Field Mob). Unlike Poland, Ciara wisely did us all the favor of posing butt-ass in Vibe this month. It's a wise move; I often get distracted from the music while mentally undressing women singers. Ciara's helping to conserve brain power. 

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