I'm a regular guy and as such I attend sports events, though my ejection ratio is about 3:1. It usually starts when people direct dirty looks (if they're pussies) and verbal abuse (if they're drunk pussies) in my direction when I opt not to stand at attention during the national anthem. Mostly it's laziness, but when pressed I usually remark that no where in the constitution do America's founding fathers state that basketball fans are required to screech some unsingable dirge en masse, a ritual imposed on us by business owners, not our elected representatives. Turns out some basketball players feel the same way, as Dallas Mavericks forward Josh Howard illustrates below.

Oh my. First he outs every pot-smoking NBA player to ESPN radio, then gets a collar for driving a car really fast, and now he publicly expresses disdain for rituals of symbolic obedience to his nation's government. (Why pay tribute to America at a charity event? Charity wouldn't even be necessary if America were as awesome as depicted in "The Star Spangled Banner.") Clearly, this guy is out of control. Everybody knows America rocks. Especially Texas. We better track down the white guy in charge of Howard for reassurance. Or we could just lynch him verbally via chickenshit comments on the anonymous internet. Or we could settle in the knowledge that Howard has his own views and the right to express them to camera phones. Just like my right to proclaim Misery Index's new record, Traitors, is full of potential national anthems. (Listen to all of it now.) These are songs to stand up and take your hat off to. Meet Josh and I halfway, America.

No comments: