Whenever some losebag starts wasting my life with a litany of work-related complaints, I take the opportunity to escape to my imaginary world of leisurely canoodling with Megan and Brandi C. (above) from VH1's I Love Money*. And I admit: That's a bit callous. Especially now that the tables have turned; lately I can't go two feet without groaning and barely suppressing the urge to face-knife somebody at my job. So for my lack of empathy, I apologize. I've been taken down a peg.

As penance, I muscled through the mind-bendingly mediocre new All That Remains album. Unambitious to the point of silliness and stripped of life by tappy, hyper-compressed production**, Overcome finds ATR striving to join the Fisher Price 'My First Metal Band' product line on toy store shelves right next to Avenged Sevenfold. Someone should rescue those guitar players. 

*Either the writing/editing on that show is tremendous or Brandi C. has the most cuddly, lovable personality ever.  Ever!
**I spotted you three minutes in, Suecof. Too bad there's no such show as Name That Producer.

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