Ok I don't know what sort of Faustian fucking deal The Scorpions have made when I let my guard down for a second but jesus tapdancing christ they are all OVER internet radio bots. I love Pandora's hair rock channel, ditto for the deep cut-heavy AOL radio, and fuck it even the rife-wit-mislabeled-songs Last.fm will surprise ya. I can hang for the occasional Great White miss and ugh live Britny Fox but enough already with those rotten "Winds of Change" motherfuckers! I'm turning into a cartoonish '80s version of The Dude and I hate the fucking Scorps, man! They have like 1200 singles and they're all awful and I would know -- I hear eight or nine of them by lunch. As a kid I hated the guy's voice, but to stop there is so selling short their many, many poor qualities. Like say the pictures of sexy models and vaguely creepy nudity on every album cover. Oh and that hot 'n heavy number "Passion Rules The Game"? That song is why your puppy died.
Here's a fun fact: Did you know guitarist Rudolph Schenker underwent an costly surgical procedure to prevent his mouth from ever closing? Did you know the band released a live version of the ear-punching dirge "Still Loving You" with strings and shit? It's called "Still Loving You 2000" (above, if you can make it through this shit then please go conquer Mars for HooM! cuz you are a christing superhuman). What's this Love At First Sting went to #4 on the albums chart? And wait a fucking second just what the hell is "Hurricane 2000"? Are you hearing this?? Ok fine right I'll calm down but let me just say that if I go and listen to this "Hurricane 2000" and it has industrial beats or something I'm bombing Mathias Jabs' house. You killed him, Meine. This is on your HANDS!
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