It's right that Tool gets lots of respect. But do you what band is Tool's sorta neglected delinquent spiritual step-brother? Type O Negative. Both bands have very identifiable styles that involve repetition and droning and psychedelia. It's just that Tool is up in the brain a bit where Type O struts a bit about the crotchal regions. 

More Lincoln-Kennedy similarities: Both bands pepper their records with little vignettes between songs, sometimes just street noise and heels (Type O) or buzzing (Tool). And what about the inevitable outbursts of vitriol via indigence (Maynard, e.g. "The Pot") and bald immaturity (Peter, e.g. "I Like Goils" ad infinitum)? Spare, integral guitar players huh huh am I right. And Type O has the awesome keyboard guy who's a goddamn genius, whereas Tool's superstar on the virtuosity tip is drummer Danny Carey. It takes a big confident man to bleat 'Why?' (gang vocal: WHY?!) 'Why-ee-ya-ee-ya-ee Why doncha love me-hee? Any! Mo-ho-hoo-whoa-ho-oh?' (Peter) and it's not exactly some kinda lightweight who pulls off a real singable, rocking tune about child sexual abuse (Maynard). Best of all, both bands RULE. The final acts of Lateralus and Life Is Killing Me are like party boats to Boner Town. Where I am mayor.

Great Scott! Those fuckers totally should tour together. Think about it. It'd be the perfect exchange, the soul and the dong. This is my grail. Just imagine the backstage talk, won't you? The cerebral mystics of the higher plane opposite a buncha doorknobs from Queens? This is history in the making; seriously somebody call Scorsese or Demme holy lord. Or how about the little auteur responsible for the Twilight-themed MV featuring Type O's "Nettie" (above, dreamy). Y'know what -- let's really go for it. Get started pestering your local congressman and shit; I'll do an email campaign. I think a good way to generate a buzz is to make the subject line "Don't limp for woman's sex. Your pills are the hardest for her coital arts. FREE SAMPLES!" 

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