Here's a shocker. Vince Neil is no longer the most cold-blooded murderer of Motley Crue songs. Reel in your monocle, sir, for I insist that even Neil's most breathless, nasally disaster towers over the shrill, cardboard shriekfest being perpetrated on humankind by Carrie Underwood. Plus she's dedicated hers to animal rescue efforts. I've never preferred Motley Crue to anything so this is all so new. I hope Taylor Swift retaliates with a hanky-shredding version of "House of Pain" or "Ballad of Jayne" or some shit. I for one shall avenge my ears with some jugcentric pics of Underwood.