JUST MY TEN CENTS WORTH

The new Steel Panther record is amazing in ways that seem impossible or at least improbable in these humorless, whiny times. Sadly, studies show that nobody wants to read about good shit (including me) so here we go with some horrific BulletBoys news. Life's a wacky ride, huh? From some dark place I'd prefer to not contemplate:

BulletBoys will join Faster Pussycat and Bang Tango for the Summer Rock Fest tour in July/August. BulletBoys' long-awaited new album, 10c Billionaire, due July 7, was written by original founding [sic] member and flamboyant frontman Marq Torien and mixed by Brent Woods (Vince Neil, Wildsilde).

Uh. I think we as a society need to rethink the phrase long-awaited. First off, records aren't like buses, getting all delayed because a crazy fat guy is stuck between seats and shitting his pants. Records don't come out because person/persons don't wish it so. Like in this case, not even the world's elite BulletBoys fan (me!) wants to hear wallet-chain Marq Torien's yucky solo shit that was released under the name of his awesome, cuddly old band (above, the beach!). And uh come again with the title? Does it read ten cent billionaire? Possibly tenc billionaire? What's 10c? It takes some solid foresight to title your album with a long-disused symbol unseen on a keyboard since laptops. That helps get the word out.