PATTON AND I MISSED LAKERS DAY FOR WORK. YOU'RE WELCOME.

So the Lakers championship celebration was totally surreal yesterday. 90,000 packed into the Colosseum, a cool million lining the streets leading from Staples. So am I out of line in suggesting that the Laker Girls should go at least topless? It's a championship, people. 65 wins, too.

It seems I have quite a skill for being absent from monster crowds assembled to hail awesomeness this week, like the Download Festival/Faith No More lifegasm. I didn't even see the live feed (above, MI rules); I'd sat through Korn and a slightly less painful meeting, but after positively tear-assing back to my desk, I was greeted with Limp Bizkit replay; FNmfM's set was mf gd over! But let's all commend the Download crowd for such copious and day-changing knocker-flaunting. Shoulder-riding top-lifting chicks should open for FNM every night. Right? In a way, Lakers fans could really learn from them.