It's been awhile since I've awoken someplace weird, but two days ago, the Sunday morning sun greeted me in an honest-to-goodness ditch. A ditch, people. I prefer phone boxes or alleys. The occasional park is nice if you can swing it, but do yourself a favor get outta there before the neighborhood mom brigade arrives. I'll never forgive myself for spoiling three months of good PR with that tall, huge-knockered milf, who I guess is turned off by dried blood. I still had a better weekend than this guy.
Anyway, CAA announced today that AC/DC starts an 18-month world tour in October. I know it's shocking that the band would do such a crazy thing. Y'know, prop up a low-return album with a bajillion-dollar merch/ticket fees orgy. Wild.
The trek will be in support of the Aussie hard rockers’ new album, the Brenden O'Brien-produced Black Ice, the group’s first since 2000’s Stiff Upper Lip. The will be sold exclusively in the States at Wal-Mart, though it still lacks a definite release date.
You see, choosing public places to sleep off near-toxic chemical binges is like a Choose Your Own Adventure book for the adult drug enthusiast. But it's also a safety measure: Just ask former AC/DC vocalist Bon Scott, who was found dead in his car. If only he'd hunkered down outside that strip mall by the old Star Lanes on Santa Monica, Bonnie would've been jolted out of his drink coma by scary man-girls loudly gnawing on his hair. And AC/DC would be awesomer.