Uh-Huh, It Ain't No Big Thang: Rocklahoma 2008

In my drunker moments of the past months, I'd whole-heartedly pledge to lug a cooler to Oklahoma, hammer a tent into the flat ground, and treat myself to a five-day hair rock-jaculation at this year's Rocklahoma festival. Biologically speaking, the return of Lita Ford alone was a titillating prospect (though her appeal is dampened by the fact that she voluntarily fellates this guy). But cold, sober foresight led me to predict disaster: Take a dozen once-great bands (and a dozen duds) in varying states of disrepair, about a thousand side stage acts (including the comely ladies of Cockpit, above), and a mass of people freed from the daily burden of pretending they're not hair rockers -- well, you're just begging the gods to rend your world asunder. Just like in 1991 ZING! Associated Press reports: 
The Rocklahoma music festival rocked on [Sunday] in spite of a storm that collapsed two side stages and caused a 2 1/2-hour rain delay [Saturday] afternoon. [Saturday's] storm struck at about 5:45 p.m. Winds in excess of 65 mph collapsed two temporary side stages. No one was injured due to the collapse although one woman broke her arm as she was running for cover from the rain, slipped and fell.

Bet that the 'running for cover from the rain' lady felt dumb exchanging a broken limb for relative dryness. At least Jack Blades (Night Ranger, Damn Yankees) was present to sing the arm to full recovery. 

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