I'd Buy That For A Dollar: Robocop 2010

In Fall 2006, I rejoiced when Fox Atomic announced their planned Revenge of the Nerds re-make had been shelved indefinitely. That meant my entire Summer 2009 wouldn't be wasted forming human blockades at area cinemas. Your definition of 'civic duty' may differ from mine, but let's agree that only a fucking asshole would let his/her family watch a flimsy cash-in remake of one of movie comedy's greatest yarns: the inspirational tale of sweet-hearted nerds sexually assaulting their way to the top of one university's cutthroat social food chain. The now-dead project was to be helmed by some American Pie cast-offs (not even the unfunny series' directors, but their sycophants), so you can be assured that the film's timeless message of self-expression and nonconformity would've been loaded down with gags about myspace and inadvertent jizz-slurping. Insert joke about pie-/Pi-fucking here.

Until now, HooM! HQ planned a similar campaign for MGM's upcoming Robocop picture. But this time, I'm the one to scrap an unnecessary project: Not only will Robocop's dystopia themes transfer warmly from 1987 to 2010, but MGM actually hired awesome filmmakers for their pic. And it's not a remake of the Paul Verhoeven classic -- it's a ahem fourth installment. (Hopefully they'll reconsider acknowledging the ghastly second and third flicks at some point in the marketing stages.) Anyway, thanks to the super-cuddly, comic con-hating Nikki Finke (call me, Nik!) at Deadline Hollywood for this bit of awesome:
MGM announced today that it has signed Darren Aronofsky (Requiem For A Dream, The Fountain) to direct and David Self (Road To Perdition) to write a new installment for its Robocop franchise that's being fast-tracked for 2010. Normally I leave these boring blowjobs for the trades. But I figure the Comic-Con crowd will have an orgasm.
Comic nerds, you've been zinged!

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