Why? Why!? WHY???!!! Independence Day Special Edition: Your Freedom Is Awesome!

It's gratifying for us anti-social malcontent types to see the week leading up to our nation's birthday so packed with weird-as-fuck news. I celebrate somebody intentionally having sex with this guy; I say 'fuck yeah' to this (mostly) guy giving birth to a healthy baby; my nads tingle that MLB star Alex Rodriguez's wife is fucking Lenny Kravitz while Rodriguez is fucking Madonna (for some reason) who is rumored to be awaiting her world tour's end to announce her divorce to filmmaker Guy Ritchie. Other reasons that America rules:
  • Director Werner Herzog's remake of feel-bad classic Bad Lieutenant hasn't gone off the rails yet, despite today's announcement that Val Kilmer, Xzibit, and Fairuza Balk have joined the cast, lead by the awful Nicolas Cage. Which is fucked up since Abel Ferarra's very metal 1992 masterpiece starred only Harvey Keitel, Harvey Keitel's wang, a lot of face sweat, and several dozen crackpipes. 
  • Rolling Stone broke their 30+ year embargo of Rush coverage with a tasty article in the awful magazine's July 10 issue written by a Rush nerd and summarized here by another Rush nerd. And reported on HooM! by yet another Rush nerd. 
  • Saw sequels director Darren Lynn Bousman will release a rock opera movie starring fucking Paris Hilton, Sarah Brightman, Paul Sorvino, and -- insanely -- Skinny Puppy vocalist Nivek Ogre. Rolling Stone reports that Repo! The Genetic Opera takes heavy visual influence from Skinny Puppy's "Spasmolytic" video -- and, judging from the trailer, Sin City and Sweeney Todd.

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