9.23.2009

THE BIG FOUR TOUR WILL SAVE METALLICA




Lakers F Lamar Odom is but 29 years old but has survived an shitload of heart-rending tragedies, losses, and random disasters. Even coach Phil Jackson allows for Odom to be a duh-machine plus usually he's kinda brilliant. Anyway to the point ahem if healing for Odom is a sudden wedding to the delicious (but beneath him) Khloe Kardashian, then I can stand for that. Even though a marriage commenced after merely 30 days of acquaintance already reeks of drama and distraction. And I don't think this event moves forward without Kobe's consent. It's in the contracts trust me.

Like I attempted to say up there, tying the knot to a hot, crazy piece like any Kardashian sister sounds sweet and all but will likely end in calamity fast. Just like the tittered-about Big Four tour. On one hand, Metallica hasn't really had any competition on that retard round stage for dickknobs that looks like a freaking USO show, so few would notice if the band has average nights every night. And surely Lars knows that Mustaine will scream his band into kickass shape, and Slayer will destroy even them, so in theory Lars might convince all to play their songs as long-haired men would (above), not like warbling no-playing sorry-ass guffawing douchesacks who now inhabit their bodies. Not literally. Or more likely it will be Mustaine belittling everybody on Blabbermouth alternating with Lars' boasts about being faggy as shit (more on that later). Hey look Marnie is on. Sean Connery and Hitchcock on the same set ha that had to've been a riot.


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