HooM! can be pretty negative but it belies my intrinsically hopeful interior. For egg-sandwich, no one I know has ever found a reason to like Dokken, and I mean not a soul not even the mega-heshers a few grades older than us who were freakin Laaz Rocket fans for the love of Geoff. But with awful bands there's a point where I become able to suppress my symbolic vomit, and that's when I set about trying to find something -- song, album cover, guitar solo, haircut, hot girl who likes them -- anything good about them. Especially with major label bands, cuz goddammit like a half-dozen people are paid to make the songs good even if sung by a breathy, whiny, sub-Coverdale drama queen (with great comic timing). Seriously. According to the laws of probability, even bands who set the global standard for gay-ass breakup songs will stumble into a snappy single. Especially in your best-loved genre.

My Dokken quest came to an end during Dee Snider's House Of Hair back iiiiin um 2005 when I first laid ears on "It's Not LOVE!" which rips despite the usual Don Dokken cornball despair. That song opened the door for another awesome/faggy song "Burning Like A Flame" but then you have stuff like "Paris Is Flaming" and "In My Jeans." Ear-barfingest harmonies ever.

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