Setlist is a HooM! serial in which an unreasonable jerk designs an awesome band's most fantastical, logistically impossible night of live mega-Metal. The dream concert set: both the best and the best-known, played before an throbbing ocean of insatiable Metal freaks. Except you cuz you're a pussy. Or you already know Testament is the second best Metal band of all times. Or you're a gay-mo-fag-xual. One of those.

Each day this month, your gay-ass hasn't joined HooM! as we died, went to Testament heaven, and took a monster dump on your mom's chest. It's the last song this time for real; an involuntary cry is muted too late by your balled fist; and now you've got somebody's crinkly hairs in your mouth; your retching is cosmetically similar to extreme death metal enthusiasm but then Testament slams your ear-boner in a door with the conclusive, brutally unheralded closer to an underloved album whatawoild:

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