A few incredulous readers have complained that windbag/poser Nikki Sixx is placing so poorly in this month's HooM! poll. Yeah, I too am shocked that so few wish to seal his speaking and breathing mechanisms with kwik-dri cement; but there's some stiff competition up there. Sharon Osbourne leads as of this writing, but unlike Sixx, her mouth isn't principally what makes her detestable. It's her unethical business practices, outbursts of anti-hottie violence, and metal cock blocking. So she's a shoo-in for the hypothetical poll What Mega-Cunt Shall We Catapult Into The Sun?

But here and now, we're deciding the overlord of shittalkers. A retarded dunce who claims to have painstakingly chronicled a life-threatening heroin addiction as it happened, only to publish these vital insights to promote a unspeakable side project. An infantile moron who threatens to expose the exploits of philandering producers to their wives 20 goddamn years after the fact. A shit-for-brains fuckwit who tirelessly imitates rock 'n roll royalty like a pathetic hanger-on, measuring himself by his ability to fulfill misperceived celebrity cliches. And who never, ever will shut the motherfuck up about it. Vote Sixx.

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